countessian

south by southwest, blow by blow

(Otherwise known as “What I Did on Spring Break” — Countessian SXSW slideshow here for people too lazy to click.)

THURSDAY, MARCH 13TH

0900: Two girls who never drive realise they don’t know how to get to the airport and end up lost in Inglewood. After approximately seven increasingly frantic phone calls, our intrepid heroines arrive at LAX and consume a stupid, stupid junk-food breakfast.

1005: Babygirl Garcia gets camera training, in preparation for her rock-photography debut.

1015: Fellow passenger is overheard declaring our flight “the coolest in the air”, which is unfortunately a total exaggeration. Also, if you were on the flight and wondered why two girls were weeping and hysterical for the whole second half, it’s because we were watching Eddie Murphy’s Delirious. The part where Aunt Bunny’s falling down the stairs makes me lose it every time.

1500: The band playing in the airport in Austin is really bad. The Garcia girls have matching luggage.

1530: We arrive at the hotel where we were told we were staying, to find they have no reservation for us. They do, however, have a pizza menu that includes a taco pizza because, as the clerk tells us, “there are a lot of Mexicans here”.

1540: Apparently our reservation was changed to a La Quinta, but no one knows where it is so we take a cab. It’s approximately 20 feet away. The clerk, Mike, tells us about his Southern metal band and how hard it is for locals to get gigs during SXSW while he tries to find our reservations. They’re not in Babygirl’s name, or the name of the person who booked them.

1550: We hear a rumour that we were booked into the Fairfield Inn, and dispatch SG across the street. She is victorious! We have a hot tub. The gas station bloke round the corner calls us “beautiful California girls”. We watch Friends and eat very doughy (this is a good thing) pizza and start sucking up Corona’s like nobody’s business, no thanks to the hopeless bottle opener the front desk loaned us.

2000: Longest wait for a cab ever (so far. We will later learn that it was nothing).

2015: Arrival at Seventh and Red River, at which point we declare SXSW officially douchie and wonder what we’re doing here. The streets are jam packed with people who look like they’ve never been out on a school night before.

2045: Schep ourselves down Sixth, arms folded, to Ms Bea‘s for Todd P’s Bikes in the Kitchen party. While waiting out front for Babygirl, a drunk local comes and introduces himself, telling Sonya he wants to get her in a sauna. Party looks like it has potential until a screechy girl band starts playing. We are collectively dismayed. The bar only serves beer. The whiskey drinker pouts. The barmaids are in no hurry to serve us and locals look at us like they want us dead, so we’re reminded of Echo Park’s very own Gold Room and feel perfectly at ease.

2130: Ninja Sonic, Best Fwends and Matt & Kim take to the stage and together tear the place up, delighting everyone. Kim is the smiliest person I’ve ever seen. I stand on something precarious (not sure what) and dance like a picture-taking lunatic. Unintentionally take pictures of Leia Jospe but don’t find out who she is until I’m back in Los Angeles and looking at her pictures.

Babygirl loses half her belongings and eventually finds them under the stage, making lots of helpful friends on the way. I climb up the side of the stage and throw myself behind an amp. We all take back everything we ever said about SXSW being douchie. Beer turns out to not be so bad after all. Everyone ends up bruised and filthy.

NOTE: Ninja Sonic introduced the phrases “someone’s gunna get pregnant!” and “I’m on the internet, bitch” to our vocabulary, never to leave. Throughout the rest of this narrative, please imagine variations on the two being yelled at all the least appropriate moments.

2300: We split for DeVille for the Jagjaguwar showcase. The queue is crazy, and our line-jumping antics cause a minor scuffle. Jens Lekman plays. We meet our favourite bartender in the world, ever, who hooks us up with most stoopid drinks in the world, ever. He says “Have fun, cuz I won’t see you again after those” and he’s right.

FRIDAY, MARCH 14TH

0030: We all go crazy over our beloved Black Mountain. The lights at Mohawk are pretty to photograph. Babygirl runs into one of her mortal enemies!

0130: SG falls asleep with her head on a speaker, so we leave. Finding a cab is amazingly easy, because we accidentally waited at what Kat and I later discovered is the place to get picked up.

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 1:14 pm. It is filed under documentary, music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.