countessian

palm springs, bikinis, watermelon, yum

Renting a house in the desert with 20 of your closest friends is a great idea. Here are some handy hints to ensure a good time.

Be prepared to sleep in the pool (remember to put on sunscreen before you pass out).

Make sure you have a vicious team of volume-regulating sisters in charge of the stereo, to avoid mid-party evictions.

Eat vodka-soaked watermelon and jelly shots for breakfast, then sober up in the sun.

Take a lot of pictures.

Keep in mind that Australian slang for “doggie pile!” is “stacks on!”

When unable to work the pool vs Jacuzzi heating system, use the passive voice when explaining the problem to avoid blame. Repeat after me: “The pool became heated.”

Following a “stacks on,” do not worry excessively should the cheap Ikea bed begin to sag noticeably. It’s nothing a little DIY won’t fix.

On returning home, all house guests should send mass emails to locate their missing cameras and underwear.

If all else fails, REMEMBER: ladies is pimps too.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, May 4th, 2008 at 11:28 am. It is filed under documentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.