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Time For Some Stories by Dave Secretary

(There are a lot more of these. You should read them if you want to laugh aloud.)

THIS IS SHORT BUT WORTH NOTING FOR MY OWN SAKE

THE LITTLE LIBRARY IN MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL (AYLMER ELEMENTARY) WAS LOCATED IN THE EAST WING, WHICH WAS THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE SCHOOL AT THE TIME. (IT WAS A SMALL SCHOOL, AND A VERY SMALL LIBRARY). MOST OF US LIKED TO GO TO THE LIBRARY. NOT BECAUSE OF THE BOOKS, THOUGH, BUT BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS GIANT STUFFED GREAT HORNED OWL SET ATOP ONE OF THE HIGHER BOOKSHELVES IN THE BACK. THE OWL HAD ITS WINGS SLIGHTLY OUTSTRETCHED AND IT WAS JUST COLOSSAL. IT WAS PRACTICALLY MY SIZE.

ANYWAY THE OWL GAVE OFF A VERY MUSTY, WOODSY SORT OF ODOR THAT MADE THE LIBRARY SMELL LIKE AN OLD MUSEUM, OR AN ABANDONED COTTAGE AND THAT JUST MADE THE LIBRARY EVEN COOLER.

ANYWAY ONE OF OUR LITTLE RITUALS WHILE WALKING TO THE LIBRARY WENT AS FOLLOWS: FIRST THERE WAS A LITTLE STEP DOWN WHEN YOU WENT INTO THE EAST WING – IT WAS CUSTOMARY FOR STUDENTS TO JUMP WHEN WE APPROACHED THE STEP, TOUCH THE CEILING TILE ABOVE OUR HEADS (ONE OF THOSE LARGE SQUARE CEILING TILES MADE OUT OF THIN DRY-WALL) AND THEN FALL THE EXTRA 6 INCHES INTO THE EAST WING. SINCE WE ALWAYS HAD TO WALK IN A LINE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL EVERY KID BASICALLY GOT A CHANCE TO JUMP AT THE STEP, AND WE WOULD OFTEN TEASE ANYONE WHO FAILED TO TOUCH THE CEILING TILE. I THINK IT WAS ALMOST CONSIDERED BAD LUCK OR SOMETHING.

ANYWAY THE SECOND STEP TO THIS ROUTINE WAS THAT ONCE YOU WERE IN THE LIBRARY YOU HAD TO GO TO THE BACK, JUMP UP AND TOUCH ONE OF THE WINGS ON THE GREAT HORNED OWL. ONCE YOU HAD TOUCHED BOTH THE CEILING TILE IN THE EAST WING…

[Seriously. You need to read these things.]

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 at 8:51 pm. It is filed under documentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.